No matter what we’ve been through in our lives there is HOPE and there is HELP. If you are a survivor of Rape, Abuse or Incest please contact RAINN. They can and will help you find local access to support. You can go to your local rape crisis center even if you haven’t experienced a recent assault. They are there to help you. In 1999 I began to get help for the abuse I suffered as a child and adult (I had been sexually assaulted by a boyfriend). I didn’t know where to turn. I had already met my husband and our relationship was on the brink because I was too afraid to get help. He gave me an ultimatum. I searched the RAINN site for a local rape crisis center and I went. I got into a support group within a week and entered a 12 week session. I got follow up after and began to heal. They even lined me up with a local therapist. She is the person for 2 years that helped me heal and get my life together. I had no idea how helpful therapy could be and I also had no idea that my “coping toolbox” was so empty. I walk around today with a full “coping toolbox” and I know I can ensure that my kids leave the house when they are grown with a full one as well.
There is no shame in getting help. There will be times no matter what we experience, loss of a pet, death of a loved one, a sick child, recovery from addiction, recovery from abuse and more where will will need help and the support of others. Often they are strangers and that’s ok. I found it easier to talk to people that didn’t know me about what happened to me so that I could process it. It was also easier than seeing the sad and hurt faces of the folks I loved when they realized what I was sharing with them. Now its all ok. I don’t care who knows or who hears this. I know that domestic violence and sexual assault and childhood sexual abuse are far more prevalent than anyone really talks about. I understand why nobody talks about it but now that I’m recovered from it and survived it all I also know how important it is to help just one person. If anyone is dealing with an eating disorder or anxiety (you can talk to me). If you have experienced abuse (you can talk to me). If you are living with an alcoholic or drug addict (you can talk to me). If you have experienced any kind of sexual assault (you can talk to me). I haven’t experienced it all but enough that if YOU need help of any kind (you can talk to me). Find us on facebook and send me a message and I will get back to you.
If you are having a particularly bad day and feel like killing yourself. DON’T (you can talk to me) and you can also talk to any of the nice folks at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I have felt suicidal 3 times in my life and it was so awful. Those feelings do pass and feeling suicidal WILL NOT KILL YOU. Talking to others and finding a good therapist and realizing that what you are going through is not the end of the world WILL SAVE YOU. In light of the recent deaths of such amazingly funny and what I assumed were upbeat people like Robin Williams and others due to suicide I am pleased that the spotlight of the horrible disease of depression is being talked about now. Being depressed sucks but killing yourself won’t fix it. There are medications and therapy that can help. If you feel down TALK to someone. If you are home alone on the couch – get up and MOVE your location even if its just moving outside to breathe some fresh air and sit in the sun. Movement and exercise does help. I’m not preaching to you here- I’m sharing what worked for me (and to those who told me that- THANK YOU- even though I rolled my eyes when you told me).
Today with the internet there are so many ways to find HELP. Google the help you are looking for and call or join an online support group. They even have sites you can text for support anonymously. Please find help if you need it. If you are a spouse or a loved one of someone going through any of the above- just listen and be there. If they are threatening to kill themselves call for help. They might hate you when you do it but in the end they will get the help they deserve. Trust me- I hated my husband a few times when he called my therapist on me but I got over it.
So I leave you today letting you know that things can get better, HELP is out there and just remember to take one step at a time. If you are having a particularly bad day just get through one minute and one hour at a time. The journey of healing is a hard one but in the end the results are amazing and it gives you the courage to Continue to Live and Flourish. I know because I have been there. You too can do it. I believe in YOU!